Unfortunately I am no longer with my girlfriend, as we found the relationship a bit more difficult than we originally thought (Especially for people who were first-timers at polyamory) And don’t confuse polyamory as an open relationship, because it’s really not. I was originally with my boyfriend, (Who I am still with) and he always kind of knew I had really strong feelings for her, and one night he just saw I was really overwhelmed by how I felt for her, and how jealous I was of all the boys trying to get at her, so he actually told me that if I really wanted to, I could ask her out (And I did) So for a while we were like a little polyamorous angle, with me in the middle. It was a lot harder than I thought though. Dealing with unexpected hate toward our decisions, trying to balance time between the two of them, and properly expressing emotions to both at once was actually very difficult, which is why it didn’t really work in the end. Communication wasn’t the best, and that was our downfall, but we’re still on very good terms as friends and I can’t express how happy I am about that.
My main point of all of this: Being polyamorous does not mean the relationship is open. It’s meant to be long term, and otherwise very exclusive between you and the other individuals involved, unless you have something else worked out. (Which it sounds like you’re aiming for anyway) And this can be a very iffy talk with your current significant other. I was lucky to be in the situation I was in, where my boyfriend actually gave me the options from the get-go. Break it gently to him though. Also, before you speak up, consider if the feelings you have for the other individual are actually love, or just infatuation, because this is a common mistake made in attempted polyamorous relationships. It’s a big decision and a big responsibility to both individuals, so make sure you have everything sorted out in your own head first. If you really want to talk to your partner about it, don’t start right away with how you feel, but ask him in a kind of, inquiring way, how he feels about those kinds of relationships in general. If his reaction is good, then slowly bring on the topics of how you feel about the relationships, and question if he’d want to experiment with it. If the reaction is bad, I’d say just back off the topic for a while, and make your own calls from there, you know? I hope this helps <3